Dear Professor Finkelstein,

I regret to inform you that I will not be attending your upcoming series of lectures, as I am departing at once for other lands. Regrettably, I cannot leave my bed, so I am unable to see whether the horrible monster has returned to the window outside your bedroom. I only hope you are safe, and I remain

Sincerely Yours,
Cornelius Watson

Featherington House, Upstairs
June 12th

Dear Cornelius,

Really, no need for the formalities. You could have sent Boffington up with a message, or perhaps used the new tele-operated phonigon tube. There's an ear-horn right by my balustrade.

Glad to hear your flying bed is ready to travel! Did you settle on steam power, or mesmeric rays? You know, I told you not to make it entirely opaque. If you'd left some viewports, you would've been able to check on my monster. He's been quite a bother. Who would have suspected that his fundamental rage at my intruding on the sphere of the Almighty would cause him to stalk me with inexorable purpose? Well, no mind. I'll send Boffington out with a fowling piece to drive him off.

Deuced awkward you won't hear my lectures on the Congo Walking Zinnia. That's going to overripen Boncourt's camembert, and no mistake. Good luck in other lands. Bring me back a walking snake!

In Safety,
Hieronymous Finkelstein (Dr.)

[cjw]