Dear Dr. Smartypants,
Last winter, I was out camping with my best friend, Will, up in the Allegheney Mountains. After I killed him, I chopped him into pieces, ground him up into a giant meatball, and fed him to my neighbor's pig. Suddenly I feel myself fraught with guilt. Is it possible to tell my priest during confession, while still keeping our date to go hunting next October? After all, he does have to keep the sanctity of the confession booth.

Meatball Lover

Dear ML,
Forget the priest. You can make better meatballs from cosmetic counter-girls. And they love hunting! At least, all the ones I've asked!

Enjoy,
Dr. Smartypants

[cjw]