Dear Dr. Smartypants,
Last winter, I was out camping with my best friend, Will, up in the Allegheney Mountains. After I killed him, I chopped him into pieces, ground him up into a giant meatball, and fed him to my neighbor's pig. Suddenly I feel myself fraught with guilt. Is it possible to tell my priest during confession, while still keeping our date to go hunting next October? After all, he does have to keep the sanctity of the confession booth.

Meatball Lover

Dear Cannibal,
Your return address indicates that you live very close to my house. I'd be happy to go hunting with you to discuss this. But first, please bathe in oregano and pepper.

Yours,
Dr. Smartypants

[jpd]