Dear Dr. Smartypants,
In college, I got involved in an organ-smuggling ring. We stored hearts and brains in the drink-machines to keep them cold. Unfortunately, a practical-joker shook up the cans before opening them, which busted the hearts, and statically charged the brains. What should I do?

Going to Pieces,
Pawtucket, ME

Dear Pieces,
Those certainly are some wacky hi-jinx. Apparently you went to college in a sit-com. I think you'll soon discover that it was all a big misunderstanding.

Fade to laughter,
Dr. Smartypants

[kjh]