The Gospel According to Jonah 

The Word of God came to Jonah Freeman.

Well, ok, not God, exactly. Not what you or I would call God, though it sure seemed like God to poor Jonah. And I guess it was God, as far as he was concerned. It all depends on how you look at things, of course.

Of course.

This Word of God came to him in a dream, which is a perfectly respectable way for a God to speak to anyone, if that's the way he wants to do things. I use the word "he" advisedly; I realize God is allowed to be a woman these days. That's great. Really. It's just that this particular God happens to be a "he".

Sorry about that.

Anyway, the dream was vivid and overwhelming and everything, so he'd be sure to know it was really from God, and it was filled with those angels and blinding lights that you always see when there's a God hanging around. There was a lot of music, too, real Amazing-Grace-type stuff that built up until it was almost deafening. And then God spoke in that unmistakable God voice—infinitely loud, infinitely deep, infinitely kind.

Here's what God said:

ARISE, JONAH FREEMAN, AND GO FORTH TO NINEVEH THE GREAT PARK.
THERE THE FLESH WILL BECOME WORDS.

That was it. That was all the Word of God that poor Jonah got. After that, the music crashed to a glorious climax, which startled him awake.